Wednesday, November 9, 2011

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR BEING ONE, NOT FOR HAVING ONE

How awesome is being a demigod? You are stronger and more skillful than those puny humans and not being a hundred percent god gives you the right to run around the Earth butt-naked, waving your demigodhood around, unhindered by the feeling of decency or scruples that every respectable deity cherishes. But what do you do when a comrade demigod grabs your private parts? You feed him to his own carnivorous mares, of course. This, despite being frowned upon by the powers residing on Mt. Olympus, ironically became an Olympic sport and was descriptively named WRESTLING – “Wedgie Retaliators Exploring Subtle Tactics Lying In Nether Grabbing”. And so began the era where virility is best displayed by wearing spandex unitards.


Hercules and Diomedes, Florence, Sculpture of Vincenzo de' Rossi

The harder they are, 
the more tears there’ll fall.
Let me show you my unbeatable 
Diomedes-death-lock!

Once upon a time in Italy, there were no shopping malls, hair-dressing salons or cafes where women could gather and share their philosophical views or exchange relevant information on aesthetics. So they gathered under the mighty crowns of trees. And because intellectual discourse and constructive debate is known to rapidly burn calories, where better to hold these meetings than under a fruit-bearing tree? This specific fruit has plenty of vitamin and is designed, by the providence of nature, to perfectly fit into a woman’s sensual mouth. Mouth!

The Massa Marittima Mural in the Town of Massa Marittima in Italy

Don’t know about you girls, 
but I’m dying for a throbbing piece of fruit.
It's called passion fruit.
For real!


Judging by Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, Great Britain has to be one of the friendliest countries in the World. This will be made even more apparent when they host the Olympic Games next year and greet with open arms (well, palms at least) visitors from around the globe. Their hospitality and friendliness go way back and extend even beyond the boundaries of our planet. Aliens flying over the beautiful hills of Dorset are immediately welcomed by a very enthusiastic art work. No nonsense crop circles that would only confuse our weary visitors. Just a firm, benevolent symbol of ecstaticness by our dear guests.

The Cerne Abbas Giant cut into the hillside near Dorchester in Dorset


I'm so happy to see you Mr. Alien!
pa' 'oH ghobe' Daq pxawpa!
[There is no honor in circles!]

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